Tuesday, December 15, 2015

Hospital Hiatus: Part Four

Precaution: this post contains graphic images of my injury.
Morgan and EJ!

Greetings! Welcome to Part Four of my long and unexpected journey battling MRSA in Korea. If you missed the first three installments, check those out before continuing onward. In the last post, I was getting ready to leave the hospital. Although I should have been excited about leaving, I was distraught, stressed out, and more emotional than ever before. I was on the receiving end of everyone telling me what I needed to do, and I felt like I had no say in the matter. Fulbright was telling me one thing, my school was telling me another, my parents were worried about what was happening, and the doctor had his own opinion, so it was difficult for me to even consider what I thought was best for myself.

My public speaking club welcomed me home ♥
Unfortunately in Korea, the pressure of working in even the most extreme conditions goes above the wellbeing of oneself, and I was held to those same standards by my colleagues. It was finally my chance to leave the hospital, and I almost felt worse than I did before I even got there two weeks ago. Nevertheless, I was put on a train ride back to Gwangyang, unsure of what was to come next. I decided that since it was practically impossible for me to do anything on my own since I couldn't walk, put any pressure on my foot, and had zero energy, I should stay with a friend during my week back home.

Kat and I en route to the hospital
영진 (Kat is her English name) saved my life that week. Without her, I have no idea how I would have made it through that week. She let me stay in her apartment, she cooked, drove me to the hospital each day, and kept me company whenever I was feeling stressed and worn out (which was basically the ENTIRE week...). Kat works as a private English tutor, so her schedule was flexible enough to help me with my day-to-day tasks. I thank her from the bottom of my heart, and I hope I can repay this debt in the future. THANK YOU, KAT! ♥

A hospital visit in Gwangyang
Although I was sent home from the hospital, my foot still required immediate treatment each day. As such, I had to schedule appointments each day at the very same place that threatened to give me surgery, but I didn't have another choice. Luckily the daily cleanings lasted only about 15-20 minutes, and I was able to get in and out of there smoothly with Kat's help. I honestly didn't know how my school and Fulbright could have expected me to go back to teaching right away when I was still receiving treatment everyday and was bound to crutches and a huge leg cast. OH and the fact that I couldn't even walk, so how could I possibly manage to go up and down numerous flights of stairs throughout the day...

The entire week in Gwangyang was spent being the middle-woman between four parties - my school, Fulbright, the Jeollanam-do Education Office, and the hospital. I was exhausted of seemingly endless discussions about what to do regarding school/teaching, whether or not I would have a job next semester, how long the treatment would last, and more. While this week wasn't particularly physically painful on my foot, it took an emotional toll on my body and mind. I was tired of each party telling me different things, and every time I would double check with A about what B said, the story always changed.

Happy Thanksgiving!
FINALLY by Thursday, the conversations reached an ultimatum: either I go home immediately and receive treatment, or go back to Seoul for an extended period of time to continue treatment. With both options, I would not go back to teaching until the next semester starts in March. My initial reaction was, "This is too good to be true... Fulbright, my school, AND the Jeolla office are letting me off the hook with this? This doesn't seem very Korean..." And, of course, my reaction was right. Although I would be guaranteed my job back in March (with a bit of a scare in between there - but we got it hashed out), I had no other choice but to agree to give up my paycheck for the months of December, January, and February, while also paying my own rent during those months. For those of you who don't know -- January and February are typically paid vacation months anyway, and Fulbright/my school is usually responsible for paying my monthly rent. As you can imagine, I was a bit upset by this, especially after already paying insane amounts on my medical bills, but I also want to keep my job for next semester and remain a grantee of Fulbright Korea. So, I agreed to the conditions.
My friend Mokhwa came to visit! 

With the situation finally starting to improve, I felt a large weight lifted from my shoulders and could finally relax. I decided that I would go to Seoul for 3-4 weeks to continue treatment until daily attention wasn't needed, and then I would be heading home to the United States to continue my recovery and rest up before next semester. The logistics of getting back to Seoul was settled smoothly (thank goodness), and I have been staying at the Fulbright Building for the past three and a half weeks while still receiving daily treatment from Severance Hospital. I am thankful for all my Seoul Fulbright friends who have helped me settle in and keep me entertained while I've been stuck inside this apartment the majority of my time here.

Upgraded to the Walking Boot
Now that I am staying in Seoul, Severance has been sending a home care nurse who visits me every day (except for weekends), cleans my wound, and re-wraps it. Each Tuesday I go to Severance Hospital for weekly checkups with my Orthopedic doctor. After my first checkup with the doctor, I was relinquished of my crutches and now use a walking boot. I have been walking just a little bit, but still use my crutches at times for support. I try to walk a little bit more each day, but I am cautious of opening the wound any wider. So, although I am mobile, I use my mobility at only the necessary moments. The next two weeks were much of the same - checking on the progress of the wound, and adjusting my medication as necessary. I'm now on this 500,000 Won ($450) epidermal cream that is supposed to create a whole bunch of skin cells and muscle tissue that will help it heal super fast. Thank goodness for the insurance I have...

I just completed my last visit this morning, and I am happy to say that I will be going home to the United States TOMORROW MORNING (Wednesday) until January 21st. While home, I will still be getting my foot checked up and be receiving treatment, but I will be much more mobile! By the time I come back to Korea, my doctor at Severance thinks that the hole should be just about fully recovered. I am so excited to be able to spend the holiday season with my family and friends this year, after a miserable and lonely holiday spent alone last year.

With Krystale at the Stanley Kubrick exhibit!
During my week in Gwangyang, I was able to hang out with a lot of people. My buddies EJ, Morgan, and Krystale all took some time to hang out with me, which I was quite grateful for. I was especially happy to see them because they weren't able to visit me while I was in the hospital (the commute is far)! I also hung out with my group of Korean friends that I meet up with regularly, and it felt like home being with them again. Although I couldn't drink alcohol, we enjoyed a nice barbecue dinner and some coffee. I did end up visiting my school for a day because I missed my co-workers and students so much (and I needed to suck up hardcore to the principal and vice principal... LOL). I was greeted with open arms and a million comments from my boys, "I miss you teacher" "Teacher are you ok?" "God Bless You" "I love you" "No playing soccer or basketball?" "Get better fast", which made me feel like a celebrity. I am sad to be missing this year's winter camp and our school festival which I was anticipating a rap performance with some students. But I will come back strong this Spring, I promise.

My home for the past month
While in Seoul, I celebrated Thanksgiving Day with other Fulbrighters and have been hosting some potlucks and hangouts for all of us to get together. I am thankful to have all of them around - they've almost set up a rotation system on whose turn it is to visit me, haha. With a bit more free time than what I am typically used to filling with exercise and teaching, I have been staying busy with the Fulbright Korea Alumni Relations committee, blogging, and taking Korean classes. I hired a private tutor to come in three days a week while I am here in Seoul - one of my goals is to become as best of a Korean speaker that I can during my time here, and what better way to use my free time than to hire a language teacher!? We went through an entire textbook during my month here in Seoul - my brain is fried. Many people assume I get bored, but I honestly haven't felt too bored since I've found ways to occupy my time. I am especially grateful to my friend Krystale, who came all the way up from Gwangyang to hang out with me during my last weekend here until next month! We visited the Seoul Art Museum and walked around the exhibits and attended a Fulbright friend's orchestra/choir concert later. It was great to hang out with a Gwangyang buddy before heading back to the States for the next five weeks. I also want to thank all my other friends who came to see me during my time here, as well as all you blog readers sending your love from afar! All of your support means so much to me and has been my fuel to keep me going throughout all of this. Your words of encouragement have kept me optimistic and high-spirited, and now it is all paying off. In just another month or longer, my foot should be fully healed and I'll be as good as new, ready to conquer the spring semester!

Photo from today's (12/15) hospital visit!
Thank you for tuning in to my four-part series, "Hillary's Hospital Hiatus"! I'm still debating whether or not I'll write another post related to the injury (full of more random instances, stories, etc.) - so be on the lookout! Otherwise, I hope to see many of you back in Illinois during the next month~

If I don't update before Christmas/other Holiday celebrations, Season's Greetings and Best Wishes to you all! Stay safe, stay warm, STAY HEALTHY! ♥
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Tuesday, December 8, 2015

Hospital Hiatus: Part Three

Straight up chillin'
Precaution: this post contains graphic images of my injury.

Greetings, all! Welcome to Part Three about my unexpected journey in the Korean healthcare world. If you missed parts one and two, check them out! Part one explains some of the background about how my injury happened, and the beginning phases of being admitted to the hospital. Part two continued with my journey of hospital admittance, and a loooooong road trip that potentially saved my life. Part three will venture into my second week of my hospital stay, where I start to feel all too comfortable with my adapted hospital lifestyle. I also had the opportunity to escape from the hospital for a few hours in order to attend Fulbright's Thanksgiving Dinner, and was tempted to run away forever... This post is full of my scatter-brained stories and struggles, so I'm sorry in advance for the lack of continuity. Let's get started!

Hope and Dawn
While week one of my hospital stay was mostly filled with uncertainty, immense pain, and wrapping my mind around everything that was happening, week two became much more relaxed and A LOT less painful. I think my usual outgoing personality showed, too, as I warmed up to my doctors, nurses, and neighbors on floor 12. The second week kicked off with a new roommate, who turned out to be closer to my age and seemed to be spending more time in the hospital than I was (yikes!). She was admitted for an infection in her jaw, which she had to get some fat/muscle taken out of her calf and placed in her mouth. I am not quite sure how it happened, but she had an outgoing attitude about everything which made it easy to get along with her. I hope she continues to have a healthy recovery and maintains that positivity!
Sunrise photo waiting for the doctors

The IV from Hell
My schedule throughout the second week was much the same as the first (except I upgraded to only one cleaning per day!), so I won't bore you with that. Instead, I want to write about some random incidents that were quite entertaining and unexpected. One story has to do with switching my IV antibiotics; the doctor told me that I needed stronger medicine now that they had identified the type of bacteria. And since MRSA is a super strong, it can take many forms and becomes resistant easily. So, my first day on this new IV was insane. The doctors and nurses repeated multiple times about the side effects of this drug (rash, itching, swelling), and that if I had any side effects I should push the help button immediately. Me, acting nonchalant because I've never had a bad reaction to medicine, didn't think too much of what they were saying. Don't get me wrong - I was cautious, but confident that I would be okay. But oh man, the first time they hooked me up to the new drug, I could feel it. The nurse even made it drip pretty slow, but they weren't lying when they said how strong it was. I felt like I was hallucinating - my head suddenly became itchy and I was scratching uncontrollably. I think I moved too quickly because I got some blood on my gown, which was likely from the IV that I ended up ripping out... Needless to say, I pressed my help button and the nurse rushed back in as I told her what was happening. She sat by my side while the remainder of the IV dripped, and I finally settled down. After that first dosage, I was extremely cautious, and luckily I never experienced any intense side effects after that (besides some skin peeling).

On the mend during week two
Unfortunately, a natural side effect to taking multiple drugs at a time is an imbalance in the bacteria in a female body part down south. Week two caused some aggravation with all of the medicinal changes, so I requested to see the gynecologist. Randomly, while I was hanging out with two friends one evening, a male doctor, maybe a gynecologist (??? still don't know) stormed in and requested to speak with me in private. My friends and I were confused, but I said okay and was wheeled off into an examination room. I put two and two together and figured that this guy was related in some way to the gynecology department, and I saw an exam chair and thought he was there to take a look. But nope. INSTEAD, he just asked super invasive questions about my sexual history which seemed entirely irrelevant to treating a yeast infection (a common thing for females to experience when taking multiple antibiotics). So, after about a fifteen minute interview which was awkwardly conducted in Konglish, he shuffled me back to my room. As he was leaving, I asked if I would be receiving medication or at least going to see a gynecologist the next day, and his response was "Maybe?" LITERALLY. I'm like.... what does that even mean!? Needless to say, I didn't hear back from the gynecologist until the day I was discharged (which was five days later). Basically, they did nothing about my yeast infection, even though I kept nagging to the nurses and doctors every day, but it was out of their control too because they're just there to take care of me. They kept passing along word, but no action was taken until D-DAY. Finally, my all-star nurse took matters into her own hands and got me some medication before leaving. Why did it take so long for that to happen... I'll never know.

Thanksgiving Dinner 2015
With the Fulbright Family
Anyway... each year, Fulbright hosts a Thanksgiving dinner for the ETAs to get together and enjoy some American goodness! I was worried that I might not be able to attend due to my stay in the hospital, but luckily for me, my doctors and nurses were able to hook me up with a temporary leave approval (thank you nurses! ♥). I was so excited to wear normal clothes again! I was granted VIP access to the Fulbright van and rode with our executive director, who is so fun to talk with and share stories. Last year I was a little bit intimidated by her, but during my second year I've had more opportunities to talk with her, and she's a very warm and kind-hearted person. I am thankful to have her as our director! At the dinner, I was able to see a lot of friends and tell the story about how my foot got hurt over and over again. I felt lucky to have such a caring community by my side throughout all of this. Thanks Fulbright Fam! AND THE FOOD. Man, it was SO NICE to have an American Thanksgiving. And the fact that I had been eating hospital food for two weeks straight made it that much more enjoyable. I ate three plates of food. Turkey, stuffing, pie, mashed potatoes, casseroles, cakes, everything. I felt like I was going to explode. It was sooooo delicious. Thanks for another great Thanksgiving dinner, Fulbright!

Having fun with my equipment
Helping me get food
FINALLY, a few days after the magical Thanksgiving dinner, was the day of my departure (Monday, November 16th). I couldn't believe that it was finally here. I felt like I needed some sort of training program to teach me how to be functional in the real world again. Unfortunately my condition still wasn't anywhere ready to be back to teaching again, let alone walking. I was still on crutches and wrapped up in my cast. I was so scared about what was going to happen, and nobody was telling me what was going on. I felt reassured when the doctor said that I should just go home and rest this week, but yet Fulbright and my school were telling me otherwise and wanted me to get back to teaching right away. I was so stressed out and emotional, and I broke down. It was my first time crying since I was admitted to Severance. Hospital life was like living in a dream. I didn't have to do anything but worry about my health and I had people to take care of me. And all of a sudden I was expected to be functioning 110% by everyone around me which was not possible whatsoever. Stressed, confused, emotionally and physically exhausted, I left the hospital and was on a train back to Suncheon (near my hometown of Gwangyang), unsure of what was going to happen next. My next post will talk about what happened after D-DAY, so I'll hold that thought! Stay tuned for PART FOUR of Hillary's Hospital Hiatus. Until then, enjoy some random ramblings:

Week Two Stats:
- 16 visitors (Hope Schaeffer, Dawn Barcelona, Erin Hassanzadeh, Kelsey Williams, Deborah Ok, Arria Washington, Erin Deskin, Teresa Baek, Emily Lembo, Katrin Marquez, Emily Shoemaker, Morgan Fryer, Kevin Duong, Zerin Tasnim, Amelea Kim, Kelsey Hagenah) - THANK YOU!
- 3 people who washed my hair (Deborah Ok, Teresa Baek, Amelea Kim) - THANK YOU!
- 2 new roommates (One who had a jaw infection, one who had carpal tunnel in her hands)
- 5 nurses who laughed at my corny jokes
- 3 doctors who started talking to me about things other than my foot
- Ate 4 burgers, 12 chicken nuggets, and 2 McFlurries from McDonald's
- Ate 10 donuts from Krispy Kreme
- Received 8 boxes of Pepero (Korean version of the Japanese snack Pocky)
- Nagged about my yeast infection to the nurses more than 7 times

Other miscellaneous struggles faced during my hospital stay:
Kevin and Zerin
- Communication barriers: Although my Korean skills are decent enough, knowledge of any vocabulary related specifically to my condition was lacking. I don't even know what a lot of medical terminology means in English, let alone in a second language. My doctor spoke fluent English, so I never had an issue understanding what was actually going on with my healing process, but most of the nurses used limited English. I remember one instance in particular when a nurse and I were exchanging dialogue in our respective native languages, giving giving each other completely blank stares and using a lot of body language. It was like talking to a brick wall and it sucked because I knew what we were trying to communicate was important. She eventually went to go get an English phrasebook, dated back to 1999. The phrase she was looking for wasn't even in there... #FML. Some way or another we ended up getting our points across, and I think we formed an odd friendship after that due to the fact that we both struggled so hard and really tried to understand what the other one was saying.

Teresa
- Bathing/showering: I couldn't stand, put any pressure on my foot, or get any part of my leg wet, so showering was a major struggle. Unfortunately I had to resort to giving myself sponge baths. Every other day I decided I should clean myself. I went to the bathroom, stripped down, wet my towel, lathered up, sat on the toilet and scrubbed away. The whole process was so exhausting for me and it took [what seemed like] FOREVER (maybe 20 minutes). I couldn't wash my own hair either, so I always had to wait until a friend came to visit and have them help me with that. My roommates must have thought I was crazy because I refused to let the old ladies scrub me. Besides, those ladies only came on Tuesdays and I wanted to be bathed more than once a week. Hygiene is such a different story here than it is in America. I consistently had to ask my nurses for new patient gowns rather than a fresh one magically arriving in my room every day. And I swear my four roommates never changed their gowns either. I don't even remember them taking showers or having someone help them. I decided it was better to just not ask questions about this and do my own thing. My superstitions were confirmed one evening when my [Korean] friend was washing my hair in the sink, and roommate number 3 made a side remark to my friend about why she was washing my hair in the sink. At the same time she was saying this, two doctors came in to talk to roommate number 3 and started giggling at the sight of my friend washing my hair. I guess patients just don't want to be clean when they're in the hospital...

Deb!
- Asking questions: Why don't doctors and nurses like answering questions? Is it because I'm an American, or is it just the Korean way to never ask questions? This question will probably never be answered...

- Hospital food: The cooking ladies, bless their hearts, are the sweetest people ever, but man, did I get sick of that food. Thank goodness for friends who brought me snacks and food. I tried to save face by eating all that I could and returning my food as strategically as possible... and also removing my name from the tray so that maybe they wouldn't realize it was me who consistently wasted food... :(

- Having control of the TV remote: ALL FOUR of my roommates ALWAYS stole the TV remote from me. I was always civil and kept the remote in the designated spot it was supposed to be, but my roommates always strategically placed it with their personal belongings, making me feel bad if I wanted to watch something but didn't work up the nerve to ask. I remember on one instance it was about midnight, I was exhausted, my roommate was already passed out, and the TV was blaring. I'm a light sleeper, so I was ready to turn that damn thing off. Unfortunately, my roommate had fallen asleep with the remote in her hand... Somehow I mustered up the energy to sneak over there and stole it from her without waking her up. +5 points for me.

Done being poked
- Being tied down to my IV: I swear every time I wanted to go wander around in my wheelchair or needed to go pee or actually do something was the EXACT time that my nurse would come in with my IV, which thus pinned me down to my bed for an hour or longer. On that note...

- Nurses poking me with needles: Both of my arms were bruised like never before after two weeks in the hospital. Some nurses were much better than others at sticking the IV needles in my veins -_- AND it's like they would come in randomly in the middle of the night and poke me in the dark while I was dazed and confused about what was going on. Oh well.

Sunset
- Trying to make small talk: I typically don't find myself an intimidating person, as I usually have a big smile on my face when people meet me (even in the hospital I thought I was pretty close to being my usual self). But, in the land of Korea, foreigners are the scariest thing to roam this Earth. I had to work really hard to get my doctors, nurses, and roommates to warm up to me throughout my hospital stay. I'm a fan of talking, and while I had visitors to keep me company, the majority of my day was spent with nurses and doctors who I saw a lot more frequently. First week was a major fail but by week two I think people warmed up to me. I just had to be a bit more invasive than I normally would be... and make a lot of jokes. At least they laughed at my corny jokes. But nonetheless, they are all friendly people and I'm thankful for their comfort and care throughout my stay. They are very good at what they do.

See you next week! Thanks for keeping up with my blog!

Erin and Kelsey
Arria and Erin
Kelsey
Emily, Katrin, Emily
Morgan and Katrin
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Tuesday, December 1, 2015

Hospital Hiatus: Part Two

Precaution: this post contains graphic images of my injury.

Greetings, all! Welcome to Part Two of four about my unexpected journey in the Korean healthcare world. If you missed part one, check it out here! Part one explains some of the background about how my injury happened, and the beginning phases of being admitted to the hospital. Part Two will continue with my journey of hospital admittance, and a loooooong road trip that potentially saved my life. Again, the views expressed are entirely my own and do not reflect on the Fulbright Program or its affiliates. Let's continue...

The beginning phases of cleaning
I felt like I was waiting forever... sitting in that hospital bed in Suncheon, waiting for the doctor to tell me whether or not I needed surgery. I was clueless as to what type of infection I had, if it had become septic or not, or anything. I thought, "Am I going to lose my foot? Does it have to be amputated? WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON!?" My co-worker and I finally met with the doctor, and he nonchalantly explained that surgery was *absolutely* necessary, and there were no other options. Of course, I didn't realize that this is what he was saying until my co-worker translated it all for me. The doctors in Suncheon don't speak a lick of English, and my Korean skills aren't advanced enough to understand specific medical terminology. That was red flag number... well, it doesn't matter... but anyway, after I heard that, I was quite alarmed, scared, and overwhelmed with all sorts of emotions I hadn't experienced all at once before. The doctor really wasn't cordial at all, and didn't explain the procedure or anything. I kept thinking, "Is this normal? Is this just how it is in Korea? The doctor just tells the patient he/she needs surgery and they just accept it? Or is it because I'm a foreigner? WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON!?" I proceeded to thoroughly freak out, and kept trying to ask the doctor basic questions, such as how long the procedure would last, what type of infection is it anyway, what is the recovery process like, how will you go about doing the procedure, etc... The doctor was NOT having it, and I could tell he was fed up with the dialogue going on back and forth between my coworker and I. My questions were never answered. The doctor said he was busy, moved on to look at the next patient's information on his tablet, and walked away. I sulked back to my hospital room and couldn't think. It still hadn't even hit me that I was staying in a hospital room in a foreign country and told that I was about to have surgery. In less than twelve hours. In those twelve hours, I think I experienced every single emotion humanly possible.

Finally on painkillers
Luckily, my co-worker was by my side, walking me through everyone I needed to call. First phone call was to mom and dad, who seemed just as confused as I was about the surgery. Not a good sign. I decided I would call them back once I've talked to my boss (Fulbright) and had received a second opinion. I call my boss and start bawling on the phone. What the hell was I supposed to do? Just get surgery and likely be sent home to America forever and terminate my Fulbright grant? I had no idea what would happen. Luckily, Fulbright worked some magic and saved the day. After what seemed like 987324239 phone calls later, I was suddenly on the phone with an American doctor in Seoul who personally knows the executive director of Fulbright Korea and works at the top hospital in the country. It was about 1:00 in the middle of the night or later, the doctor was cranky that he had been woken up by my boss, and he wasn't any more cordial with me, not that he ever is anyway (for my Fulbright friends, I'm talking about Dr. Linton... -_-). This doctor spoke at our Fulbright orientation and he was extremely rude to everyone and has an ego bigger than Korea itself. Whatever. Personality aside, he knows his medical shit, and told me that it was in my best interest to get to Seoul as quickly as possible and to NOT follow through with surgery. I was extremely panicked already, but I vividly remember Dr. Linton's words, "If there's anything I know about Suncheon, it's that they don't even have emergency vehicles when situations like these arise. If that's not alarming, then I don't know what is. I can't tell you what to do, but my personal advice would be to get yourself to Seoul as soon as possible and be treated here. Surgery is something Korean healthcare often resorts to when they don't know what to do."

Hooked on IVs
If that wasn't a wake up call, then I don't know what was. The next five hours passed in a blur. All of a sudden my co-teacher was rushing to find the nurses and doctors and told them I'm leaving. I didn't even have time to process anything before I was back in my normal clothes and getting released.

"But why am I leaving now? It's 2:00 in the morning..."
"I already called you a taxi. It's arriving soon. You need to withdraw 400,000 won (~$350) for the ride to Seoul."
(Wide-eyed with disbelief) "WHAT!? I'm taking a taxi to Seoul right now????????"
"Yes. You need to get there right away. If you leave now you can get there before 6:00. It will be okay."

And that's how I ended up being transported across the country. At 2:30 in the morning, I faded in and out of sleep, being woken up every half hour by my bosses, co-teacher, and parents checking on me. 3 and 1/2 hours later and a 400,000 dent in my pocket (not to mention the 1,200,000 won (~$1,050) I paid at the hospital in Suncheon), I was at the main doors of Severance Hospital at Yonsei University in Seoul. My boss greeted me with open arms and I was immediately being rushed around. It was like the admittance into the Suncheon hospital all over again.

With my chingus 
First, I'm rushed to the International Healthcare Clinic. There, the American doctor (Dr. Linton) takes a look at my foot and calls the orthopedic doctor in as well. They mumble amongst each other and then I'm led to the orthopedic department. It's basically an open room, not sanitized very well, with patients sitting on beds staring at each others' open wounds and being quietly treated. And all of a sudden I come rolling in and it's like I'm the talk of the town. All of the patients are elderly Koreans and look to be regular patients, so I clearly stick out like a sore thumb. After what feels like being stared at for far too long, the main doctor finally comes in and jumps right in and opens up my wound some more. I am crying in pain. Yet again, no painkillers. The young interns eagerly gather around to see what happened to the waygook (foreigner). The nurses are holding me down as my foot and leg twitch while the doctor continues squeezing pus and discharge from my heel. I'm gripping my wheelchair as tight as I can, my whole body sweating, and my poor boss standing behind me can't bear to look. The worst part came when the doctor poked a long q-tip all the way inside my wound and rubbed it around to gather a cultures, in order to determine the type of infection. For the moment, the cleaning is over with, and I heave a sigh of relief. This time, it comes as no surprise when the doctor tells me that I'll be admitted as an inpatient, and depending on the type of infection that I have, I would be there a week or more. At that point, the doctor also wasn't able to determine if surgery was necessary or not, so I was prepped for it anyway. As such, I am wheeled around from station to station, doing more blood tests, lab work, and getting a big ol' splint on my leg.

Taking me for a ride
I finally finish with lab work six hours later, and I'm wheeled to my temporary home for what would end up being a full two weeks. I eat my first hospital meal, which of course doesn't seem so bad, but I naturally got sick of after eating the same shit three meals a day, fourteen straight days. As I wasn't expecting to be in the hospital for such a long time, I had 0 belongings with me. Luckily my boss hooked me up with plenty of books, snacks, and toiletries, so that I could stay somewhat sane throughout all of this.

The two weeks spent at the hospital is already starting to blend together in my mind. It was a time spent catching up on reading/podcasts/movies/TV shows (even without a laptop!), pondering the highs and lows of life, forming new relationships, strengthening current ones, and wondering what will come after this is all over.

By the third day, I had my hospital routine memorized. Here's an ultra-exciting breakdown of it for you:

~Week 1~

6:00 a.m.: Wake up call as I hear the doctors roll in with their cart of evil utensils that clean out my foot... this takes 10-20 minutes depending on the severity of my foot. A similar situation as described above, where the doctor unwraps my splint, doesn't numb me up, and starts tearing away at my foot. It's literally like they're playing the game Operation! and losing (the buzzer going off nonstop as I grip my hospital bed for life and feel everything oozing out of my foot). The first couple days are hostile, no communication between myself, the doctors, and nurses besides...
"Does it hurt?"
"WHAT DO YOU THINK?"
"How about here?"
*doesn't wait for answer and pokes foot*
"YES"

6:30 a.m.: The cleaning is finished. I typically spend the next hour thinking how I managed to make it through that without passing out. Sometimes the nurse comes by, takes my blood pressure/temperature, and asks if my foot hurts. Stupid question.

7:30 a.m.: Breakfast arrives. The first day the only medicine that showed up was Tylenol. TYLENOL. As my painkiller. EXCUSE ME. If you didn't notice, I have a GAPING HOLE IN MY ACHILLES TENDON. Could you please prescribe something other than Tylenol? I complain and my nurse finally hooks me up with stronger painkillers.
Nighttime cleanings

8:30 a.m.: The nurse strolls in with my morning IV antibiotic. I attempt to make small talk in Korean. The nurses awkwardly respond in English, but eventually resort to Korean. By the end of the week, depending on the nurse, I actually have someone to talk to besides my visitors.

9:00 a.m. - 12:00 p.m.: Pretty much free time. Reading, watching TV, talking to my roommate, napping, just laying as my foot is throbbing in pain, attempting to give myself a sponge bath, or listening to "Serial" podcast. By the end of the first week I decide it's a good idea to do some "exercise", so I do a couple laps around the hospital floor in my wheel chair. During this time some interns from the International Clinic who speak English come and check on me. One of the interns is really handsome and awkward. He told me he likes that I'm a positive person and smiles a lot.

12:30 p.m.: Lunch arrives. No medicine during lunch. I force myself to eat as much as I can. I'm typically always asked by my roommates' caregiver why I didn't finish my meal, and why I don't have anyone with me 24/7. It's typical in Korea for someone's entire family to drop what they're doing and take care of a family member who has been hospitalized. There are no designated visiting hours because family members just sleep on the pull-out bed beneath the hospital beds.

Yummy pus and discharge
1:00 p.m.: The main doctor usually comes by and explains what's going on with my situation. On the second day I'm told that I have a severe bacterial infection called MRSA. Luckily, the infection didn't get inside my bloodstream and I didn't need surgery. During my second week I would start "super strong" antibiotics due to the high resistance forms this bacteria can handle.

2:00 p.m. - 6:00 p.m.: More free time. Sometimes visitors come and hang out, the nurses come with my afternoon IV, and we go for a loop around the hospital. It's funny that in Korea the nurses don't care if I leave my floor. I could leave the hospital and they wouldn't have known! They just trust that I'll come back eventually.

6:30 p.m. - 10:00 p.m.: Dinner arrives. I get more painkillers and I'm happy! I usually get my nighttime IV too. I'm sick of the meals by this time every day. Fulbright friends come hang out around this time, and they're nice enough to bring me McDonald's (THANK YOU) or some other delicious food from outside of the hospital. I recruit my visitors to wash my hair and take me for walks around the hospital. After having six people wash my hair during my hospital stay, I have to give the title to Emily Lembo (if you're reading this, you rock!), but all of you are actually awesome for washing my hair and I appreciate it.

The doctor comes again for the night cleaning. Usually this one isn't as bad as the morning cleaning. They don't poke at my foot as much. They just do a lot of squeezing and change the bandages.

10:00 p.m. - 12:00 a.m.: I usually pass out around this time. The nurse comes in and takes my blood pressure and temperature. I feel bad for the night shift nurses. Actually, I feel bad for all the nurses. I swore that I saw the same 3-4 nurses the entire time I stayed at the hospital. Do Koreans ever sleep?

3:00 a.m. - 4:00 a.m.: The nurse always comes in around this time to check on me. And take my blood for more tests to determine the infection levels in my blood.

6:00 a.m.: Wake up call... repeat.

Keeping me company
During the first week of my hospital stay, I had 2 different roommates, 15 visitors, 3 people wash my hair, and countless conversations with friends and family who were physically unable to keep me company. Roommate #1 was an old woman in her 80s, and she also seemed to suffer from an orthopedic situation, although I'm not sure what. I didn't talk to her or her family much, as they left early on my third day. I was still busy adjusting to hospital life at that point and wasn't in the mood for much chit-chat. Roommate #2 was a woman in her 50s who may have stomach cancer. Stomach cancer is quite common in Korea, due to the over-consumption of kimchi. Although kimchi is healthy, eating more than a handful per day causes certain chemicals and bacteria to tear the lining on one's stomach. So, she and her husband were waiting to hear results about whether she would need surgery or not. She stayed for four days, and found out that she had a 5cm stomach ulcer and would get it removed the following month. I made a get well soon card for her. I hope she has a safe surgery and a quick recovery this month! She is an elementary school teacher in Seoul, and she spoke a little bit of English, so we spoke a mixture of Korean and English together. She was very kind and so was her family. They helped me with anything I needed and shared their food with me, which I was grateful for.
End of Week 1

Thank you to all of my visitors who visited me during my first week, and to all my friends and family for your concern. I love talking with you all and I never get sick of telling what happened to me because your concern shows that you care. Week one visitors: 김영진, Amelea Kim*, Emily Shoemaker, Emily Lembo*, 최경희, Mat Goldberg, Kat Griffin*, Emmy Mildenberg, Teri Bunce, Korey Morgan, Katrin Marquez, Krystale Campbell, Sam Moser, Kevin Duong, Ken Hoofard.
* = washed my hair <3

Thanks for tuning into Part Two of Hillary's Hospital Hiatus! In part three, we will explore the exciting schedule change of Hillary's second week at the hospital, Hillary's random thoughts and information gained during all her free time, and dive deeper into relationships formed while at the hospital. To be released one week from today!

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Tuesday, November 24, 2015

Hospital Hiatus: Part One

Precaution: this post contains graphic images of my injury.

Hello everyone! Welcome to Part One of what will be a four-part series about my unexpected journey to the hospital, my thoughts on Korean healthcare, and my emotional rollercoaster throughout it all.

As most of you know, I spent nearly the entirety of the month of November in the hospital being treated for MRSA, a severe bacterial infection that affected my Achilles tendon. For those of you who haven't heard the story as to how it happened, this blog post is for you. If you've already heard how it happened, but also want to hear about my hilarious, trying, emotional roller coaster of experiences with Korean Healthcare, then you should also stay tuned. I must warn you that this is going to be a long and graphic narration of my personal experiences, so please keep in mind that my opinions and words are entirely my own and do not reflect Fulbright's, my colleagues', or any one else's point of view.

The beginning of it all:
Sunday morning
It all started with a blister I obtained from my hiking trip to Seoraksan with Emily during the Chuseok Holiday (read about it here!). So, as is natural for people to receive when exercising and wearing tennis shoes/hiking boots for long periods of time, I came out with a fairly large blister on the back of my right heel. I didn't think anything of it at first, as I have received multiple blisters before and they have always gone away in a matter of time. However, about a week or so after getting the initial blister, I noticed that it wasn't decreasing in size; in fact, it was increasing! I didn't hesitate and went to a local foot doctor in Gwangyang to get it checked out. The local doctor said it was due to strenuous exercise and I told him the story about hiking. He verified it and proceeded to drain the blister with a needle and squeezed the liquid out of the hole using his ungloved hands (as is rather common in Korea, unfortunately). The whole procedure of getting there, the doctor draining it, and leaving took a matter of 15 minutes total. Not a lot of time spent at the foot doctor, but I again didn't think much of it because Korea's healthcare is not as personal and attention-giving as it is in America. On top of that, I thought, "Oh yeah, it's just a blister, so it shouldn't take long to treat." He advised me not to exercise for a few weeks, wrote me a prescription I presumed to be rather useless, bought the medicine, and consumed as directed.

Side view
Here's where things get severe. Two weeks after I visit the doctor, I notice that there is still a bump on the back of my ankle (bursitis). I decide that I need to go back to the doctor and tell him what's going on. I go in, and he's immediately unhappy to see me. He assumes that I resumed exercising and didn't listen to his prognosis. Little does he know that I actually DID listen to him and have stayed off my foot for the duration he told me. He decides he could give me a steroid shot to reduce the swelling and be rid of me. I didn't even have time to tell him what I wanted to do before he ordered me to lie down and poke me with a needle. He prescribes another oral tablet, I take it, and pray for the best.

Fast forward another week: my foot isn't hurting too bad, I've stayed off of it, and haven't been wearing any shoes with backs on them for the past month. It's Halloween weekend and I head to Seoul to hang out with some friends. We decide to go to a club, but I make sure that my foot is totally covered (thick socks, long pants, bandaid over the wound). The blister wasn't open to begin with, but I took precautions anyway. Halloween weekend flies by (it was fun!), but what comes next would prove to be the most difficult month of my life - ever.

Sunday afternoon
I arrive back to Gwangyang early Sunday afternoon, and immediately lay down to rest. I wake from a three hour nap and find that my foot is throbbing with pain. When I look down, I'm in utter shock: my heel is black and blue, and everything below my right knee is swollen. I take a picture and send it to my mom who is thoroughly disgusted and advises me to check into the ER. So I call up my friend and ask her if she has some time to take me to the ER (this is around 9:30 p.m. Sunday evening); she agrees and we race to the ER. We arrive there and I show the doctors on duty, and they are also thoroughly disgusted. Unfortunately with Korean healthcare the most trained doctors are not on duty during the weekends, so I'm stuck with an intern taking a look at my infection. They decide that the infection is too big and that they should at least drain some of the pus and discharge from my foot before sending me off and telling me to return immediately tomorrow morning when the orthopedic doctor is in. Laying on the hospital bed in astonishment, I could barely take the time to feel three interns digging into my Achilles tendon and squeezing all around my foot to drain out the discharge. My friend couldn't stand to watch, and she left the room. Keep in mind that Korea doesn't really adhere to painkillers, so I was wincing with more pain than I've ever felt in my life for about thirty minutes straight. But oh, I didn't even realize what was to come...

Sunday evening
About two hours later my friend and I leave the hospital. My foot is thoroughly bandaged and I can't walk, let alone put a single ounce of pressure on my right leg. I'm put in a wheel chair and carried into my friend's car. She drives me back home and I cry when I'm forced to walk up five sets of stairs to my apartment room. It didn't matter anyway because I couldn't sleep all night. I woke the next morning in a hot sweat. I can't shower because I'm all bandaged up. For some reason I decide to put on my school outfit as if I'll just be stopping by the hospital to see the orthopedic doctor real quick and head back to school in the afternoon. BOY, was I wrong. I had NO clue that I would spend the next two weeks in a hospital bed going through the most painful experience of my life.

My friend Kat and I after
Sunday night's ER trip
Monday morning my co-worker drives me to the same hospital that I visited the night before. We check in to see the orthopedic doctor. He barely takes a look at it and says, "You're being admitted as an inpatient." My first reaction is, "What!? You didn't even look at it." But I honestly wasn't surprised because Korean healthcare is not very personal and doctors are always in a rush to get in and out, on to the next patient. If there's one major thing I learned about Korean healthcare throughout all of this, it's that physicians here HATE being asked questions. So different than America, where I can be a question machine and doctors patiently answer them to the best of their knowledge. Anyway, my co-worker freaks out (with good reason), and I do too. All of a sudden I'm racing to go through all sorts lab work: blood tests, urine samples, an MRI, and more picking at my foot. The day flies by and all of a sudden I'm an inpatient at the hospital, dressed in my patient gown and all. The evening is spent waiting for the results of the MRI and determining whether or not I would need foot surgery. Monday night changed my life forever. Thank God it was for the better.

Stay tuned for part two... to be released one week from today!

The beginning of my hospital life
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Wednesday, October 21, 2015

October highs, October lows

Greetings, everybody! It's been another exciting two weeks, full of adventure and also personal trials as I reflect on my second year in Korea.

Jinju Lantern Festival
Since the Chuseok holiday, the weather has finally cooled off and it's feeling like autumn. October is here and in Korea that means it is prime festival season. During the first week of October, Korea celebrates Hangul Day which marks the invention and the proclamation of Hangul, the alphabet of the Korean language, by the 15th-century Korean monarch Sejong the Great. Schools were out early for another long holiday weekend, so I took another opportunity to travel around Korea and explore two different festivals.

Oktoberfest
I ended up booking a tour with a company, as it was more convenient because they covered travel, lodging, and most meals throughout the weekend. Many other Fulbrighters joined me, and we had a blast! The first festival we headed to was the Jinju Lantern Festival, which originates from the lantern lighting custom used during the Jinjuseong Fortress Battle of the Imjinwaeran War (Japanese invasion, 1592) as a military strategy to prevent Japanese troops from wading the Namgang River. Throughout the festival, there are many lantern exhibitions that demonstrate Korea's rich culture and history. They are lined up along a river, as well as lit throughout a nearby fortress. We walked around as many areas as we could, and I couldn't even keep count of how many different types of lanterns we saw! My favorite part, of course, was seeing them all lit up during the nighttime. We took a boat ride along the river to see the lanterns in detail. The festival was so crowded! We had to wait in long lines to walk across the river and get to the fortress, which took up precious viewing time.

Jinju Lantern Festival
After the lantern festival, we took a one-hour bus ride to our pensions in Namhae, which were situated along the beach. We dropped our bags off and headed to the beach to hang out and talk before crashing and getting ready for Korea's very own Oktoberfest the next day. We headed out to Oktoberfest around noon, and as you can imagine, spent the day eating and drinking all things German! The festival is held at a small German village in Namhae, which was built for Korean residents who returned from living in Germany. Many Koreans lived in Germany where they earned foreign currency during the modernization of Korea in the 1960's. At the festival, we ate sausages, drank beer, and enjoyed traditional music and games from Germany. During the night time, there was a special performance by an up-and-coming K-Pop group called JJCC. Supposedly, Jackie Chan's son was supposed to be a part of the group, but it was all a big lie. I think the description of the group was lost in translation on the brochure we received. Oh well! It was still fun to dance and watch them perform. I was pretty exhausted after spending the whole day eating, drinking, dancing, and talking, so I called it an early night. The next morning we wandered around the beach before heading back home. It was a solid weekend, and I hope I can go to the REAL Oktoberfest one day in the future!

Jinju Lantern Festival
After the long weekend, I had another short week ahead. The boys were due for midterms from Wednesday-Friday (so I didn't go to school), followed by the Fulbright Fall Conference during the weekend. I ended up heading to Gyeongju (where conference is held) a day early with Emily to explore some sites we weren't able to visit last year. Gyeongju is one of the most historic cities in Korea, home to the Silla Dynasty (57 BC - 935 AD), which boasts tons of beautiful sightseeing opportunities. We checked into our hostel, and the owner ended up driving us around to show us famous boulders and remnants of temples and structures from the Silla Dynasty. Although staring at rocks was somewhat interesting, the view of the rice fields is what captured my attention. Fall is harvest season in Korea for rice, so the fields are covered in shades of yellow, almost as yellow as an ear of corn from good ol' Illinois. After sight-seeing, Emily and I met up with other Fulbrighters who headed into town early for a few drinks. The owner of the bar we went to was an older woman, and she was fascinated by us, and she was so cute asking us all about why we are in Korea and our interests.

Jinju Lantern Festival
Friday marked the beginning of Fall Conference, and I went in feeling confident and energized. By the end of conference, I felt drained, lonely, and unsure of why I decided to renew for a second year. One would think that being at a conference surrounded with 120 other ETAs who are in the same situations as me would make me feel refueled, able to connect, and share highs and lows... but this wasn't the case for me this time around. It was nothing to do with the conference activities themselves - if anything, it was the casual conversations I had with some of my fellow ETAs and feeling like I couldn't fully express myself or feel totally comfortable with those around me, or even with myself (nothing against any of my fellow Fulbrighters, either! Just a current personal matter).

~Fulbright Korea~
During my second year, I have adapted to living in Korea, which has given me time to become extremely introspective and reflective on my personal actions and how I have changed over the past year and a half. I've started to feel as if many Koreans only see me for my outer appearance, not for anything that's within, unless it fits their preconceived perceptions. Thus, I feel like a large part of who I am has just been shut down while I've been here. It's even started to rub off on my Fulbright colleagues/other native friends I've made in Korea. I don't feel fully comfortable in my own skin like I used to. I hope to find outlets where I can just be myself - whether it's through communication with friends near or far, journaling/blogging like I am right now, or something else - it's wearing me out to not be myself. It's harder to put on a front and be something I'm not than to just let my walls down and be who I am meant to be.

Besides this self-revelation at conference, it actually was nice to see people and feel refreshed in my teaching, at least. I am excited to start teaching units again (I was busy with speaking tests when I returned after vacation), and I hope the students will have a lot of fun with them! I'm also staying busy with my half marathon training, so that has been an outlet for me to reduce stress in a positive way. It's nearly two weeks away, and I am training to finish in a time less than 2:00:00.

As always, thanks for reading, and stay true to yourself. I hope to follow my own advice. Talk soon!

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